If NFL Network is your source, then 'yes', the
Seahawks want Terrell Owens
Somewhere in an alternate universe ex-Cowboys WR Terrell Owens is signing with the Seahawks.
In that universe, GM Tim Ruskell values big playmakers who erode locker room unity like a cancer, who whore themselves to the media and call out teammates for making mistakes.
This is Bizarro Land, where character is not an issue to Ruskell and the Seahawks.
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In this fabled universe, Ruskell's favorite vacation destinations would include Reno or Las Vegas because he’s addicted to gambling. If one were to sign Owens, you’d have to ignore a proven track record of team division and take a chance that he wouldn't be responsible for the collapse of your team.
Laws of our universe wouldn't be quite the same in Bizarro Land, where people actually age backwards, like in the movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."
At 36-years-old, Owens would be at the peak of his game and Ruskell would have no qualms about signing him to a 10-year $101 million deal just to spite defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth.
In this strange, strange world, the Seahawks would absolutely need a big playmaker to help jumpstart a terrible passing offense, because if there's one thing that's representative of the Seahawks in this universe, it's that they cannot pass the ball.
I think I've uncovered a document from this universe, because the writer suggests the 2007 passing offense was anemic, the same passing offense that led us to the playoffs.
It also suggests that speculation on NFL Network is credible enough to confidently say the Seahawks' "hot head" coach Jim Mora just might be crazy enough to take a chance on one of the craziest NFL players of them all.
Unfortunately, science hasn't progressed enough to allow us to travel between universes, so we are stuck in our own; one where the Seahawks didn't glance twice at the ESPN ticker reading "Owens released by Cowboys."
Reach Aaron Weinberg at nextseasonsports@gmail.com
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